bdsm studies
This section is to keep you updated on the breadth of my knowledge outside of sessions. I have my master’s degree and I’m firm believer in life-long learning. I’m an avid reader and also attend BDSM classes and workshops to increase the number of creative ideas and techniques in my toolbox. Here is just some of what I’ve been up to.
Did you know that I also teach on kink-related topics? I provide private instruction to individuals, couples and small groups. Check out some of my offerings on Chicago Dungeon Rental’s website.
May 2016 I’m currently reading The Piercing Bible: The Definitive Guide to Safe Body Piercing by Elayne Angel. While this is not a how-to book, it is filled with useful information for anyone considering getting a piercing. On more than one occasion people that I have played with have expressed an interest in getting a piercing as a symbol of submission. I fully endorse the sentiment and find it much more appealing than having something symbolic tattooed upon a submissive to signify ownership. There’s something very erotic and powerful about piercings. This is probably why I am drawn to engaging in temporary play piercing in scene.* It’s a fascinating read that would recommend even if you never plan on getting a piercing.
*Are you interested in experiencing play piercing or learning how to safely explore this with your partner? Come and see me for private instruction!
April 2016 I attended and presented at a one day conference for healthcare providers called What Aren’t They Talking About: Sex and Identity in Clinical Practice that was part of a week long series of events in Milwaukee, WI called SHARE: Sexual Health and Relationship Education. I presented Compassionate Care for Kinky People which focused on helping health care providers effectively communicate with their kinky patients and, as mandated reporters of abuse, how to tell the difference between consensual BDSM play and non-consensual abuse.
February 2016 I attended the first ever RopeCraft conference in Austin, TX.
September 2015 I just finished reading Playing Well with Others by Lee Harrington and Mollena Williams and it’s earned the space at the top of 
recommended reading list for those who are new to kink. There are plenty of introductory “how to” books about kinky play but fewer on the topic of they psychological aspects of kink and fewer still on the BDSM/Kink scene and subculture. Playing Well with Others is one of the very few books written about the latter. If you’re curious about the ins and outs of BDSM culture or are about to attend your first play party I can’t recommend this book enough. No one wants to look or feel like the odd one out when they take that first step into the kink community and this book walks you through everything from social norms at play parties, clubs, and conferences (including what you should wear) to recognizing the difference between BDSM and abuse. This book was an absolute joy to read!
May 2015 I attended DomCon Los Angeles. The highlights of this year’s workshops included Dungeon Safety and Sterilization for Professionals with Mistress Melissa of the Sanctuary dungeon, The History & Arts of the Dominatrix (based on the book by Anne O. Nomis that I happened to recently read) presented by friend and colleague Mistress Snow Mercy and Writing From Experience: Your life as a jumping off point in essays and memoir presented by kinkster author Stephen Elliot.
March 2015 I attended the Kinky Kollege conference in Chicago for the eigth time.
October 2014 I attended the Kinky Kollege conference in Chicago for the seventh time.
May 2014 I attended DomCon Los Angeles. It was a whirlwind of activities but I managed to make time to attend a few classes. I especially liked Shit My Dom Says: How to Talk Like a Dom by Danarama.
March 2014 I attended the Kinky Kollege conference in Chicago for sixth time.
October 2013 I attended the Kinky Kollege conference in Chicago for the fifth time. The highlight of the weekend was a plastic wrap suspension workshop with Simon Blaise. I attended the same class in 2012 and was instantly smitten with the beauty, versatility and eroticism of plastic wrap suspension. I tried my hand at it as well and found that this type of bondage and suspension technique came very naturally to me; I’ve enjoyed incorporating it into my sessions as well as into my playtime with friends.
April 2013 I attended the Kinky Kollege conference in Chicago for the fourth time. There were three workshops I particularly enjoyed this time around:
Kink as a Second Language with Nina Hartley about being a swinger exploring the BDSM scene.
Hook Pull with Elwood
Mind Fuck with Mistress Shae Flanigan of Los Angeles
October 2012 I attended the Kinky Kollege conference in Chicago for the third time enjoying a variety of classes and some play time with friends.
July 2012 I attended fetish diva Midori’s illuminating ForteFemme weekend in San Francisco with a select group of amazing women, one of whom wrote an article for the Huffington Post about our time together.
January 2012 I owe a thank you to my favorite AB (adult baby), Peter Bunny Rabbit, for sending me a copy of Miss Penny Barber’s book The Age Play and Diaper Fetish Handbook: the Ultimate Guide to the World of AB/DL! I highly recommend this book to anyone curious about the wo
June 2011 One of the first books I enjoyed on my new Kindle was the S&M classic Venus In Furs by Leopold Von Sacher-Masoch.
February 2011 Thanks to my curious nature, but mostly to generous holiday and birthday gift-givers, I have a stack of books almost as tall as my favorite knee high stiletto boots. Everything from HTML programming (for my new website) and expert cross dressing to advanced male genitorture and slave training protocol. Now I just need to make enough time to read them all!!
December 2010 I was fortunate enough to snag a spot in Midori‘s sold-out workshop on Military and Interrogation Scenes at Chicago’s Galleria Domain II. I also attended her hands on rope class on body harnesses when she visited Early to Bed but that’s one thing I still need some practice on!
October 2010 I attended Kinky Kollege in Chicago. It was a fantastic weekend long conference with dozens of workshops, speakers and SM-related events! Some of my favorite workshops were Predicament Bondage, Interrogation Scenes with Hardy Haberman, and Enemas presented by Loki.
August 2010 Re/search People Series: Vol One, Bob Flanagan Super Masochist – This isn’t the 1997 award winning documentary, Sick: The Life & Death of Bob Flanagan Supermasochist. It’s actually a 126pg book that consists of seven lengthy interviews done with Flanagan conducted by Andrea Juno & V, Vale in 1993. In addition to those interviews are numerous photos of Bob, his life with his partner Sheree, plenty of BDSM activities, photographs of his performance art and more. If you can get your hands on a copy of this book I HIGHLY recommend doing so. It’s not available on amazon.com but if you scroll for a while on the link above you’ll find it. Bob’s outlook as a terminally ill individual living his SM lifestyle to its fullest is articulated in such a way that not only reminded me to appreciate life but also how therapeutic SM can be. Rest in peace Bob.
July 2010 SM101 by Jay Wiseman – it’s a pleasure to read this book again.
Whip Smart by Melissa Febos – I’ll spare you my lengthy critique. In a nutshell, her writing is beautiful but she treats SM and professional domination like a joke and alternately ridicules and pities her clients. Because of that I am not linking this to Amazon.com – I’d hate to increase her sales. If you’re curious, listen (for free) to a radio interview that Terry Gross did with her on Fresh Air. Or better yet, listen to the interview she did on The Masocast podcast in September 2010.
April 2010 Consensual Sadomasochism: how to talk about it & how to do it safely by William A. Henkin Ph.D. and Sybil Holiday, CCHT
March 2010 I attended a 3-day intensive at The SM Arts Academy run by Cleo Dubois in San Francisco: The Professional Course of Erotic Dominance Intensive for Women. I highly recommend this intensive for anyone seriously considering work as a dominatrix.
December 2009 I’m currently reading Family Jewels: a guide to male genital play and tormentby Hardy Haberman (with an introduction by one of my favorite kinksters, fetish diva Midori) and loving every page. My lucky personal sub will get some new treatments as a result before I bring any of my new ideas to session. Isn’t he a lucky boy?